So, if you already know me, hi! If you don’t, well I’m Jade and I’m a bit bat shit mental because I not only went and got myself up the duff but I’m also gonna write about it and tell everyone how it happened...

And no, no, guys, before you get over excited at the thought of me telling you my sordid sexual encounter in order to be with said embryo, I had IVF, with a sperm donor so I have no clue who the Dad is, but not in a fun “I was off my face on ecstasy and shagged my way round Ibiza” kinda way. 

But yeah, I’m Jade, I’m 30 (writing it down is even harder than saying it 😭) and I want to tell you my story because well, I think it’s pretty amazing. 

It was a hard decision to share this blog with the world as it involves alot of heartache and difficult choices that have led me to this exact moment but I thought fuck it, as I already share a lot of my life on Facebook and Instagram, like everyone else my age, why not just bloody share it all aye?! I’m of that generation of course! 

But also because I really struggled to find information online that wasn’t just clinical shit that scares the f’ing pants off you! It’s all needles in your ovaries, legs, arses, stomachs and wherever else they can think to stick them! And ginormous phallic tools going further into your vagina than you ever thought humanly possible! Also no one just tells you how it is, it’s all process and jargon! I found that talking to people in my situation via the form of a Facebook group really helped me get to grips with the process and all the horrific (I mean beautiful, incredible, blessed) changes that happen to your body when pumping a shit tonne of hormones into you and then the miracle of growing a tiny human!

 By the way, I should apologise in advance as you can probably already tell I don’t hold back, I tell it how it is, swear like a sailor and massively over share, so if your precious little ears are easily offended, probably best to stop reading now! 

For those of you sickos intrigued, thanks for reading so far, I mean it wasn’t that hard as I’ve only just started but cheers anyway and welcome to the no belts and braces, no holding back, over sharing blog that is the truth about how I got preggers!