In true me style, the number of scans I
had during my second trimester continued on the same trajectory! My grandparents were meant to come to my 12-week scan with me but unfortunately weren’t well enough, so I paid for a private scan at
13+3 weeks, I cannot explain how special it was having Nana and Dada there to see Bean waving on screen at them. They never had scans when my Nana was pregnant, and she hadn’t been to one before, so
they couldn’t believe the technology and how much you could see. My Dada asked the sonographer so many questions, it was so cute. Honestly an experience I will remember for the rest of my life. I was
so happy I got to share that experience with them.
Then I turned 30, I can honestly say it
was a very weird experience being sober at an Edgington party – it is unheard of to be honest. It was actually one of the things my sister did say to me when I told her I was pregnant, “Why did you
do it before your 30th?!” But anyway, it was an amazing night, I had all my friends and family around and we danced the night away in true family party style, by 1am, I was absolutely pooped, trying to get my brother out of there was a challenge and a half, and my Dad was packaging up about 50 sandwiches
that were left over to take home that he could never have got through but you know, apparently it was necessary. You never realise how annoying drunk people are until you are the only sober one!!
Anyway, the next day we went and had lunch at moms and when I went to the toilet, one of my worst fears was realised, I wiped and there was blood. I stood up and there was a clot in the toilet too, I
shouted for my mom, and very kindly of me, made her look at it, for an extremely squeamish woman, in the middle of her dinner, probably not what she wanted to see!
I went to the hospital, got shouted at
for not having my notes on me, I had always left them at home unless I had an appointment, but I got a right bollocking so safe to say they have been carried with me in my handbag ever since! They
listened in to baby and heartbeat was all fine, they said I had just over done it with the party the night before, too much dancing probably! The scary thing they asked me, and were dead serious, was
I drunk the night before?! No!! I had a small glass of prosecco but the fact it is a standard question must mean they get cretins in there who are pissed up all the time – petrifying. Most times I go
I see labouring or pregnant women outside having a fag, I always think, do you know how hard some people have to try and how much pain they go through to get pregnant and there you are just taking
advantage of the fact and can’t even give up having a fag for your baby – bonkers. I remember my friend when she had her baby saying she was in bed next to a lady whose baby was quite small, and the
woman actually said to her “They said it’s because I smoked the whole pregnancy, but I don’t think it is.” No Hun, it 100% is – its scary.
The following day I worked from
home to try and take it easy, went back in to work on the Tuesday and had another bleed, so then went back to hospital to get it checked out again. Luckily baby was all fine. Work told me to work
from home for the rest of the week to rest up (I did go in on one of the days though, can’t even remember what for but seemed important enough to me at the time!) stupid really, and my director
told me off, told me I had gone through this much trouble to get pregnant and there was nothing I couldn’t do from home so he would be disappointed to see me in again that week! They have been so
supportive, its amazing really, I know how lucky I am, I have heard some horror stories from people whose work have just been awful. As a standard on the NHS, they don’t scan you, they just
listen in to heartbeat, which is re-assuring, but I needed more, so I booked a private scan at 18+5 weeks and went with my mom, luckily, everything was fine.
You also talk a lot more about
pregnancy during your 2nd trimester due to the fact you are out of the really scary zone and into just the relatively scary zone. You find out all sorts of shit talking to other
people about it. I remember the one day, I was 21 weeks and I had read online that your nipples can start leaking – WHAT! Like how? Has there always been holes in them? Or have the holes just
formed? Is it going to squirt out everywhere? Is there MULTIPLES HOLES?! It honestly blew my mind, like, no-one tells you this shit. This is what made me even more determined to just write a
really honest account of everything because some of this shit you really should know about. Apart from labour, I am kind of taking the stance that I don’t really want to read much into it or hear
much about it because women have been doing this for thousands or years and a woman’s body is specifically designed in that scenario to get that baby out. So, my intention is to just listen to my
body and let it do its thing! Then I will write about it all and tell you all the gory details after!! In this same this conversation I found out your nipples go a lot browner too – JUST WHY?! I
am sure there is some very good reason why your body is designed this way, but I just couldn’t get my head around it. Also, at this stage everyone started telling me how lucky I am that my
treatment worked first time – like yeah, I know that, and I do appreciate that compared to some other that my journey to motherhood may seem “easier” than others. But just because it worked first
time it doesn’t mean that I didn’t go through shit to get here. I know how lucky I am, I really do, I just don’t need to be constantly made to feel bad about the fact that for once, the scales
tipped in my favour. I know people don’t mean it but sometimes it does feel like I should feel guilty about the fact!
Another beautiful thing that
happens to you at this stage is the horns, which when you are single, is especially, how to say this, unsatisfying. I have fondly nicknamed this stage as the “Hemsworth & Gaviscon” stage,
effectively it consisted of me just googling images of Chris Hemsworth and swigging on Gaviscon (the heartburn kicks in around now too… a nice little edition to the wonderful list of pregnancy
symptoms). Not meaning to sound ungrateful because I am SO grateful and happy and know how lucky I am to be pregnant, but it isn’t all glamour and I am just going to tell you how it is – told
you, this is a no belts and braces blog!!
Although, saying that, at this
stage, actually, you are feeling pretty good, you aren’t too fat yet and you’re getting comfort from your little baby kicks, which by the way, when you start to feel baby move is the weirdest most
magical thing in the world that makes you realise this shit is getting real. If you had any sickness, this is probably over or fading out now and you are out of the “danger zone”. The thing that
happens here is people start to piss on your parade, you get all the “enjoy it while it lasts”, “sleep while you can”, “you won’t want to do that when baby comes”. Which I am sure are all very valid
points but to be honest just make you feel a bit shitty… I was getting told that I won’t be going on holiday, I won’t be going to weddings, I won’t be leaving the house effectively. All people
telling you that your life is going to be over, and again, I am not a mom yet, and this ALWAYS comes from moms, so they may have a point. But, how do you know how I am going to feel? I am different
to you! Other people may not want to leave the house for a week, I personally feel like I will want to get out, I certainly will try my damn hardest to make events I have said I will go to, yes I
understand people are saying not to push yourself but I am going to be a mom, I am not a prisoner!! I very much plan on still having a social life and be a good mom – it is possible you know! Also,
this whole not going on holiday thing, don’t chat shit! Nothing on earth will be stopping me from getting some sun, baby in tow of course at first but bloody hell, I am never going to not leave my
child, come on now! I also feel like, even though it’s coming from a good place in most of these instances, it already mom shames you! Little Bean isn’t even here yet and I am feeling guilty about
the fact I hadn’t considered it to be a problem that I MAY spend a few nights away from them in 18 months’ time! Like I said, I know it is all coming from a good place, but my point is, people over
share, A LOT! You just have to be prepared to take some of it on the chin and ignore it, other wise you will drive yourself mad trying to be the perfect mom figure that doesn’t exist, pour yourself a
small glass of red or a Guinness and watch “Bad Moms” to feel better about life and keep shit real, this ain’t Instagram, its real life, you are allowed to not be perfect! 😊
