Second Trimester - Part 2

How the FUCK am I going to even poop? This is now a real genuine concern of mine.

 

I never imagined being comfortable doing a number 2 with my kid making awkward eye contact with me but that’s going to be the reality of my life. Whenever I need the loo, have a shower, shave my legs, my baby is going to be there! At this point I started getting the realisations of the fact I would be doing this alone, I started to worry about going to antenatal classes, being the odd one out, everyone there has this perfect little family and there I am just a trollop on the end. You know like the ugly Hemsworth brother, sticks out like a sore thumb in a gene pool of perfection. That’s gonna be me!

I had some blood results come back that had resulted in me needing to see a consultant, it was completely out of no-where. I got taken in to a room and told that the midwife couldn’t tell me and that it was best I wait for a consultant. I had no idea what the hell was going on, I think this was my first appointment I had actually been to on my own as well, so I just sat in the waiting room petrified. It turns out I have low PAPP-A, this is a hormone produced by the placenta during pregnancy and because mine was low, it could mean that my baby doesn’t grow as it should, so I would have to have regular growth scans to check, it also meant that I had an increased risk or pre-term delivery and pregnancy induced hypertension, normally picked up by high blood pressure but so far, despite a few challenges outside of pregnancy over the last few months, my blood pressure has always been fine. Fingers crossed it stays that way! Plus having the scans meant they would be keeping a close eye on me and Bean and I would get to have more scans! WOO! 😊
At my 20-week scan, Bean was playing up and wouldn’t move position for them to check everything out, they said the lungs, stomach, kidneys, face etc was all good but they couldn’t fully check out bubbas heart and brain, so I had to go back again – meaning another scan, which I didn’t mind at all! 2ndtime round, they managed to check everything, and all was good in there. Another relief, plus I didn’t see a little tinkle or anything, so the mystery of the baby’s gender was still intact.

It was around this time that I went up north for one of my lovely friends 30th birthday party and as we were getting ready, with 2 moms in the room, I started learning all about the beauty of birth and after math. I have said many times before that this might be a beautiful journey, and to be honest, an absolute miracle but it’s not pretty in any way shape or form. I’ll take you on a little journey of what I learned that day. 

Anal dilation – to be honest, 2 words I have never considered in the same sentence before. 2 words, I never even really thought about at all, and now its etched in my memory and all I can think about. I mean, what the fuck does your ass hole have to do with anything, and why does it need to dilate?! Nothings coming out of there – I hope anyway! But yes, this is another gorgeous part to the birthing of a child, anal dilation. I will say it again just so it really computes for you. Anal. Dilation. Yep, it’s a thing, its gonna happen to me, my ass hole is going to dilate. The fuck man.

Also, you do get a told a bit about what will happen when you give birth, but no-one prepares you for the after birth, so my lovely friends did it for me… Blood clots. Another 2 words you do not need or want to hear. Apparently, these just fall out in the shower and stuff, for like weeks after you’ve given birth. I mean, when you think about it, yeah, course they do, you’ve just grown a baby for 9 months and then pushed it out, but no-one tells you, thank god I found out otherwise I would have thought my entire insides were falling out and probably dialled 999. Just incase you were worried, I am going to share all the horror stories once I am there, for now, I am just freaking you out, but mainly, freaking myself out !! 

Rooting through the placenta, apparently this is something midwives like to do because the colour or amount of blood or something like that helps them to determine if there is anything they need to be aware of with baby, so after you’ve pushed a baby out, you then have to push the placenta out and then they like to have a little dig around in it. Also, if you are that way inclined, you can have it dried to put on display somewhere in your home, make it into capsules or just fry it up like a piece of meat. At the risk of sounding really judgemental, why the FUCK would you eat your placenta?! Effectively, its self-cannibalism and also disgusting. There is no scientific evidence (as far as I can see on google) to suggest there are benefits to eating your placenta, some people say it can help with post-natal depression, some people say it increases energy and breast milk – If you need help with any of these things, seek medical advice. If you also want to eat your placenta, seek medical advice, you need it.

During my second trimester, I booked a 4D scan, they recommend you have this between 26 and 30 weeks. It can be pretty expensive if you want one done and they aren’t done as standard on the NHS. Effectively the difference from your normal scan is that you can see moving 3D images of your baby in real time as it is a live stream of the baby. I had one at 26+5weeks with Dad and my sister but Bean was playing up again and wouldn’t really show the camera their little face, so I had to go for a walk and come back but baby still had their hands in from of their little face, so it was a bit difficult. The clinic were great, they offered me a second scan free at 27+6 weeks to see if they could get any better images. Unfortunately, Bean was still playing up (think there is a theme here!!) so we managed to get some but not loads again, I was sure from the first and second scan that baby is an Edgington, the first scan I thought they looked like my brother and in the second one they definitely look like my sister. I am more of my mom’s side I think but hopefully baby will still look like me!! They said I could go back again before I was 30 weeks to have another, they were so kind and lovely every time I went, I couldn’t recommend them highly enough, plus it meant I got to have another scan, I swear it never gets old, I would have one every week if I could afford to, although I do realise that’s slightly excessive!!