Third Trimester - Part 1

I am going to be really honest, as I am writing this, I am nearly 35 weeks pregnant and I feel as though I have barely prepped anything! So, this week I wanted to talk about the few things that your mind starts going crazy on around this point!

I have washed a couple of bits of clothes for baby and started to get a few bits together for my hospital bag too but with my baby shower coming up, I am waiting to see if I get bought a few bits before committing to buying anything else. I have got the main things like the pushchair, car seat, bed etc. It’s just the little bits now that I need, I have tried to be good and not buy a lot of clothes either as again, I am sure my family and friends will want to buy stuff, especially once I know what I am having! I also washed the baby’s things with my normal washing liquid and comforter without even thinking about it and then someone said you have to wash in non-bio. So, then I had to go and buy some and wash everything again – I am not even sure why! I mean, our parents and grandparents probably didn’t even have non-bio stuff and we are all fine – there are a hell of a lot of rules these days! I mean, what even is bio anyway?! I realise some of you will know the answer to this, but I mean, really, does it even matter?! #BadMomAlert

Push chair mayhem! Why is there somany?Seriously, there is about 17,000 different ones and you walk in to any shop and immediately your stomach drops in to your arse… like what the fudge do they all do? Why are there just SO many? It’sEXTREMELY overwhelming, and then the sales staff start telling you about increased risk of SIDS and all sorts of shit, and that basically you’re probably going to kill your child. I know we need to know all this info, be prepared and know what not to do but how much info is too much info? Do we know too much now? There are documentaries, books, leaflets, Facebook groups, plus all the know it all dickheads that all of a sudden want an input into everything you do, it’s overwhelming. Isn’t it better just to trust your instincts sometimes? I am sure it is with most things but when you start buying products for your baby you get opened up to all sorts of shit about how many ways you could potentially damage this precious little life you’ve just spent 9 months growing, it is honestly terrifying. Plus, I don’t understand why there is SO damn many of the bastards, honestly, and they range from like £300 to probably like £3,000. It’s scary. And this doesn’t stop at pushchairs, this is for every single item you are going to buy for your child, and there are reviews of all of them so as soon as someone says anything remotely bad it puts you off and it’s near impossible to commit to buying anything!! I have ended up with 4 beds for my child because I kept reading different things and to be honest, I will probably end up using all of them at some point, I bought one of those next2me cribs that attach to the side of your bed, my dad bought me a moses basket, my uncle has lent me a cot-bed and my lovely friend bought me a sleepyhead thing! Idefinitely don’t need all of them, but I guess it’s good to have options! The next2me I bought 2^nd hand and just getting a new mattress for it, you could spend an absolute fortune!

One really exciting thing you get to do is decorate the baby’s room, again, I haven’t done a huge amount, but I have got the cot bed set up, the changing unit and the moses basket ready. I still need to wash sheets and all of that to go on them but they’re ready. Obviously, the room is painted, the carpet is in and curtains are up, but the finishing touches are yet to be done, and they are the best bit! It’s one thing I have really felt unsettled about not having ready – and it’s the room the baby isn’t even going to go in for like 6 months, so it doesn’t make sense logically to me to be worried about, maybe it’s the whole nesting thing? This uncontrollable urge to organise! I was one of those people who was pinteresting everything but the rooms you see on there are not realistic, they kind of give a bit of inspo but most of them make you feel like your nursery is nothing compared to the ones you see and make you feel quite inferior so I just stopped looking on there in the end. There is enough pressure on us as it is, let alone worrying about the cot having a canopy and fairy lights all over it!

If you’re lucky like me, you only realise during third trimester that baby brain is actually a thing. Seriously, all of a sudden, the most mundane tasks or words become so difficult. How I have managed at work to not royally fuck something up, I don’t know. Sometimes I can’t even think of a basic word, I know exactly what I mean, and then proceed to describe said item until someone tells me what the fudge I am talking about. And here’s the best bit, apparently it never gets any better when you actually have said child!! It just sticks around!! And then just as you’re getting used to it and it may be slightly improving, BAM, Menopause – another one of mother nature’s delights. Why is it us women get all the fun stuff?!

I had scans throughout third trimester too, I had another 4D at 29+6 as baby had played up at the other 2 so I went with Dad & my Aunty which was lovely, I then had growth scans at 31+3 and went with Amber and Dad but they wouldn’t allow Dad in as apparently on the NHS its only one person that can go in with you. I pulled a real face at that because I had seen people with more than one person go in so it was VERY frustrating. She did give me a free scan photo as she could see how upset I was, and apologised for the fact my “partner” couldn’t come in. Not the first time someone has said partner rather than Dad, I quickly correct them! Then I had my last growth scan at 35+4 with mom where they were happy. They referred me to have a risk assessment on the birthing unit at Heartlands to see if I could give birth there, so that appointment was set for the following week.

There are a few bits that feel weird when you are doing this alone, and I feel especially towards the end that you really start to think about it more, simple things like in an evening when baby is really wriggly when I am sat on the sofa on my own, I do think about if I had a partner, they would be able to feel it and enjoy that time with me, I imagine a couple all snuggled up on the sofa with baby daddy having a chat to bump or something. Or when I walk past the nursery and just hover at the door and look in at the room for a little bit, imagining what the room will look like in a few years when they are a bit older, things like that do make me feel like I am missing out a bit and that baby might miss out. I just imagine when you have a partner that when you hover at the door, they come and put their arms round you and you share a special moment thinking about how wonderful and difficult life is about to get, is that just the movies though?! Ruining expectations for us all as always! I think about the journey I am about to go on into motherhood and it must be nice having someone there to talk about it all to, but then again, I think there are definitely a lot of positives too but sometimes I do think about little things and wonder if I am missing out. Loads of my friends that are pregnant keep saying how jealous they are of me though, not having to argue about decorating the nursery or baby names or battling with in-laws! I know in this world we always hear more negative than positive, but I do see a lot of bitching about partners in the Facebook Groups – a lot more than I hear any positive! Which is sad really isn’t it, when its such an exciting time. So, when I see a post about what a sod a husband has apparently been, I do wonder for a hot sec whether it’s just us women getting all aggy (we are pumped full of hormones!!) or whether the husband is just being a bit of a dick, either way it makes me grateful I don’t have to worry about it!!