Again, this week I wanted to share a
few more things you experience in the later stages of pregnancy, mainly because I didn’t know most of these things, and was horrified by some of them so felt it necessary to make you all join me in
being equally freaked out!!
Birth – everyone has an opinion on
what you plan on doing with your own vagina. Honestly, this amazes me. Genuinely, never in any other situation on the planet would it be socially acceptable to make a comment about someone else’s
vagina and what they intend to do with it but when you’re pregnant, there is no boundary, all of a sudden your vag, uterus, boobs, stomach – all of it becomes public property! It is really nice
in some ways, everyone has a vested interest in you and your unborn baby and how you are both getting on, its lovely. But when people start commenting on how you plan to give birth, it kinda
crosses the line. Also, all they ever say to you is “OMG are you scared?!” like, no, I am really damn excited, excited for baby to arrive and excited to experience labour! And even if I was
scared, you asking me does not help that! Now, I will caveat that I am 100% sure it all comes from a good place but still, not necessary!
Pelvic pain – the kind of pain you
get from a really hardcore gym session, or a long sex session where you have had your legs open for hours and the next day you can barley walk (you all know the ones – they are a distant memory
for me!) but just a lot less productive or fun. I am sure it is just your body starting to prepare for birth but man alive, it doesn’t feel good!
Restless legs!!!!! Relentless restless
legs, it is probably one of the most annoying things in the world, you can’t sit still, get comfy, it’s even worse when going to bed, and the best part – there is no known cure! So, I have tried
everything from stretching, bathing in magnesium flakes, walking around, massaging, drinking tonic water, cooling my feet down – you name it, I have probably tried it. Anything for a good night’s
sleep aye?! I then got told by my midwife that it was probably because of not being moved in to the house and being unsettled as sometimes the restless legs can be psychological too, but I am in the
house, and still having the same damn problem. Everyone I speak to about pregnancy who has had restless legs will tell you how frustrating it is!! I’d be up in the night wandering round the garden,
bedroom, stretching and all sorts! Oh and of course, swigging my Gaviscon!!
Shooting pains in your vagina, Clemmie
Hooper refers to these as “Fanny Daggers”. I first experience these in a management meeting, came as a bit of a shock so I probably did jump a little but then had to try and pretend it wasn’t
happening. Imagine my boss asking me what’s up?! Oh no worries boss, just got the fanny daggers on the go – not ideal.
So, my Baby Shower was probably the
most amazing day I have ever had, honestly, such a beautiful day filled with love and laughter. It sounds so cheesy, but it really was just an amazing afternoon. It’s amazing how much love a tiny
little baby can generate. I was surrounded by my best friends and my amazing family, I honestly couldn’t have wished for any more. I know it’s kind of an American thing and some people maybe aren’t
keen on them but honestly, the love felt that day was one I will never forget, it was so lovely, everyone coming together to celebrate me and Bean. Plus, I got so many gifts, it was incredible,
people are so bloody generous and thoughtful, it took me a week to go through them all and get Bean’s room straight again, I was so emotional after, it was just perfect. So, a HUGE thank you to all
of my gorgeous family and friends for making it such a special occasion for me, you guys are honestly the best people I know!
*Newsflash* being pregnant never gets
any less scary. Yes you might sigh a bit of relief when you cross the 12 week window but then you have movements to worry about, and then all the third trimester fun I have just gone through. And
reduced movements freak the fuck out of you. No matter how regular or irregular your babies pattern is, this is always scary. Especially when you decide to work up to 39 weeks and you have a busy job
because when you have been running around like a blue arsed fly all day, you then have to really stop and think if you felt baby move. Luckily, baby tends to get a bit more active in the evening when
I am sat still on the sofa which then gives me a bit of re-assurance but honestly, its scary AF. And if you ever do get worried, please make sure you call the midwife or the hospital to get an
opinion, they may want you to come in and just get monitored for a little bit to check on baby – and its better to be safe than sorry!
Top 10 things no-one tells you
about pregnancy!
Discharge – probably the
grossest word in the English language but it’s a fact, you get very dischargey for the majority of the pregnancy!
Wind – no matter what you
eat, I am constantly burping – its grim.
Everyone tells you horror
stories and scares the shit out of you even though it is completely unnecessary and insensitive!
You are suddenly scared of
everything, even irrational things like the baby just falling out of your vag as your walking along
Restless legs – I did not
know this was a thing until I got pregnant, and it’s the most frustrating thing in the world.
You can’t poop at all, or
you can’t stop pooping – either way.
You will feel guilty for
not enjoying every single second of being pregnant, especially when you have gone through shit to get pregnant in the first place!
You don’t actually need to
eat for 2 – WHAT THE FUCK! This is the worst one!
The bat shit mental dreams
you will have – I had one that my baby was born super early and needed to be kept in water, so I kept it in a goldfish bowl next to my bed and it was like 2 inches long. Yup. Fucked
up.
The extra melanin in your
skin making you browner in the sun! Woo – this is one I can get on board with!
