The Birth - Part 2

We probably got to Heartlands around 4pm, they did an initial assessment on the ward and I was only 2cm dilated so they couldn’t do anything, they did a sweep and advised to go for a long walk. So, there is me and my mom walking round Heartlands hospital car park about 10 times! I am sure it’s no surprise to anyone there seeing heavily pregnant women wandering around but it felt a bit weird just walking around in circles, but we were happy enough just chatting away. We then went back to the ward and I was using the birthing ball to help. They said they would come and assess me again in 2 hours, by this time it was 8pm and visiting was closing on the ward so Mom had to leave, so she went to the car to get my bags and the nurse put the cannula in, I am normally really good with that kind of stuff, like it doesn’t bother me at all but for some reason I felt really faint, it was SO hot in there so they got this big fan and I had to have a little lie down!!
It’s really weird being in there on your own as I just assumed, I would be able to have my birthing partners with me and I was a bit sad about it at the time, now I look back at how long it took before she actually arrived and think that it’s a good job as they would have gone nutty just waiting around with nothing happening! Anyway, about 10pm ish they came to do an assessment, they said I as about 3cm dilated but my cervix was too far back, they tried to pull it forward (yes, PULL it forward, never has the word “pull” sounded so revolting.) but I guess it wasn’t budging because they couldn’t break my waters so they put in the pessary. I was a bit emotional at this point because I knew how long it could take, they said the first pessary would be in for 24 hours – WHAT! Its basically like a flat tampon with a really long string and they tuck it right up in there next to your cervix, it releases the hormones required to help bring on labour. I know what you’re thinking, could it get any more glamourous?! Well, it could, about half an hour later I went to pee and pulled the bastard thing out, so the poor midwife had to go back inside my vagina for the 7000th time and re-instate said pessary. Lovely.

There’s something quite magical about being on a unit surrounded by women being induced, and by that I mean there’s absolutely nothing fucking magical about it. And yes I know were all about to bring life into the world and yes I know it’s a miracle but honestly, the noises made by some of the women in there having exams, sounded like feeding time in the bloody Serengeti. I know they can’t help it but its just awful in there. Also, some dickhead had their shite nokia ringtone going off all night, like, who doesn’t have their phone on silent at nearly midnight in a room where you know 5 other women are trying to sleep. A dickhead, that’s who.  About 1am I started getting contractions, they were coming about every 5 mins, they were manageable but I was worried about how long it would be before baby arrived so I called the midwife in who told me some women react “sensitively” to the pessary, made me feel like a right wimp to be honest, I was managing the pain but didn’t know when was the right time to call my birth partners in! They offer you paracetamol or co-codamol, which I think is hilarious, seriously?! That’s not going to touch the sides, surely?

It was at this point I downloaded an app, obviously, there is an app for everything these days! And it meant I could just push the button when the contraction started and stopped and it recorded it so I knew how often they were coming. They were every 5 mins but manageable, I felt so sick, I think it was the co-codamol more than anything else to be fair! This carried on until about 2:30 I think was the last time I remember them coming in and offering me some paracetamol, which I didn’t want as I thought it was a waste of time! I must have managed to get a bit of sleep as contractions died off about 4ambut I was awake again at 6:30 with them. My mom came up to the hospital around 8:30 and they were every 7 minutes by then but the midwives didn’t come and examine me until 10am when they said I was still 3cm dilated, WHAT THE FUCK. I felt like Rachel in Friends when everyone seems to come and go having had their babies while she is still not even half way there! Its so frustrating that your body isn’t doing what you need it to. They said they would take me through onto the delivery suite and try and break my waters though, so that pesky little cervix of mine must have come forward enough!

They broke my waters around 11 and that’s when my best friend Holly came up to the hospital too, that’s when the fun really started as my contractions were getting stronger and stronger by then. They are SO intense when you are induced, I thought I was just being a right wimp to be honest as I just didn’t feel like I was handling it well at all, and especially because in my head I wanted a water birth and that had gone right out of the window, I just felt a bit out of control. I had originally decided I just wanted to have gas and air, but I was open minded to other drugs if I needed them, I wasn’t overly against any of them having had the midwife explain the options to us in ante natal classes. I have no idea of time scales on the rest of the story but somewhere around 1pm I want to say, I had had enough, I needed some pain relief. They gave me some pethidine, now I wouldn’t say that pethidine actually did much for the pain, it just made me really sleepy, so even though my contractions were 2 minutes apart, I was almost sleeping between them, and this really helped. Not only because I was getting some rest but also because I wasn’t getting anxious and worked up between contractions anticipating the next one, which was happening before and then I was so tense when the contraction came it made it so much harder to breathe through it. I felt like when the pethidine kicked in, Holly was able to help me breathe through the contractions. My mom didn’t know what to do with herself, it was so hard for her seeing me in so much pain, she kept encouraging me after every contraction saying “That’s one more down, one closer to meeting Bean.” Which was great and it kept me going! During the contractions I would look up at her and she would be crying with me, which didn’t help bless her, Holly at one point told her to get her shit together, a magical moment for all haha!
By around maybe 5 pm I was 7-8cm dilated but the pethidine had worn off, I was in need of something, they seemed to take ages to get me something after I had asked, although it probably really wasn’t that long, I kept asking Holly to go and “do her thing” she can be really bad ass when she wants to be, I think I wanted her to go and ruffle up the drug man, by that point I felt like some kind of crack head, I would have sold my soul for a hit. They advised the baby was back to back which is why I was getting so much pain in my lower back, they wouldn’t give me any more pethidine as it would then likely affect baby when they arrived so they recommended an epidural, something I never really thought I would have had, but I didn’t just ask for it, I begged. I was in agony. I have never known anything like it, and I think I have a pretty high pain threshold, but I just couldn’t cope any longer. So, the lovely man with the drugs (the title he studied about 10 years for) came in, hunched me over a pillow and told me to stay really still. Which you think, is nice and easy! Not when you’re having contractions every 2 minutes that tense your whole body up, it’s a dangerous game because you can’t be jumping all over the place when someone has a needle in your back that if it goes slightly wrong could bloody paralyse you!! They reckon it takes around 30 mins to really kick in so I had to wait. 30 mins came, could still feel everything so they pumped it again, 30 mins went by, still no effect. They came and gave me something stronger in it, still nothing happened!!! By this point, I was getting urges to push, so they said I would have to just crack on now and push!
I don’t care what anyone says, the pushing part is the easy part! Maybe it isn’t if you don’t have to be induced but the contractions from an induction are fucking horrendous. I wasn’t pushing for long to be fair either, I think it must have been around 7pm I started pushing, they advised that baby’s heart rate kept dropping and they couldn’t keep the sensor on my tummy so they put a sensor on her head to monitor her. At this point you could see around 5% baby’s head and 95% my vagina yet Holly insisted on looking right in the eye of the storm. They were really worried about the baby’s heart rate and with them thinking she was back to back, they said I would need an assisted delivery so they were going to give me an episiotomy, for those of you that don’t know what that is, it’s a cut made at the opening of your vagina to help, erm, make more room, for baby to come out. Well, I freaked out at this point, shouting at the doctors you better be giving me some kind of pain relief if you’re going to cut me. Which of course they were, and did. Maybe that’s why the pushing was easier too?! Anyway, they tell you to push like you’re doing a big poo, which sounds weird but actually its exactly what it feels like, the most magical poo of your life!
Due to me being in labour for quite a while and not drinking enough, they put me on a drip earlier on in the day, which I kind of hadn’t really noticed, except when I pushed lol. It’s quite common for women to poo during labour because like I said, you have to push as though you are pooping, which I didn’t, just FYI. But I did do a full wee every single push. Which by the way is every contraction, which is every 1-2 minutes at this point. They had to change the mat every single push, it was actually comical because I was pushing and half laughing like “but I haven’t even drunk anything, I don’t understand!!” Anyway, episiotomy done, they put the ventouse (a cone shape suction device) on the baby’s head to help pull her out, so as I pushed, they pulled and BAM, 7:34pm out she popped all in one go. Normally the head comes out first and then on the next contraction the body comes but she popped out all in one go, so quickly the midwife was the other side of the room and the doctor had to shout her “BARBARA!!!” Lol.

They announced she was a girl and my mom and Holly were in bits, I just looked at them and got all teary and said “She’s mine.” It was an incredible moment, the moment you get to meet your baby, I just couldn’t get over how perfect (and a bit gross) she was, how did I make something so perfectly together, she had these tiny little finger nails, and I made them, I made her finger nails. Such a weird concept, I still can’t get my head around it, its an absolute miracle. I just remember Holly and my mom in absolute bits, there was so much love in the room It was incredible. After everything had calmed down, Holly and I were talking and the next 2 sentences just completely sum up what an endearing and lovely friendship we have; 

Me: So, do you think I have a nice vagina?!

Holly: Not anymore.